There’s a phrase that has become the white flag of professional communication: “Kind reminder.” It appears in subject lines across every industry, sent by people who need something from someone who hasn’t delivered it. The sender knows. The recipient knows. Everyone knows what “kind reminder” actually means: “You ignored me, and I’m too polite to say so.”

The average professional receives 117 emails daily. According to workplace research, 32% of messages go unread entirely. Of those that are opened, many receive that dreaded response – “Let me check” – before disappearing into the void. Meanwhile, 100% of business leaders and knowledge workers report experiencing miscommunication at least weekly, and the cost of this friction amounts to $1.2 trillion annually for US businesses alone.

But here’s what the statistics don’t capture: the asymmetry of power in who gets ignored and who doesn’t. The unspoken hierarchy where messages from senior people receive immediate attention while those from junior colleagues – often containing deadline-critical information – languish in inbox purgatory.

Professional Follow-Up Emails – Invisible Response Hierarchy

Marketing professionals understand this dynamic intimately. The work requires constant coordination across departments, vendors, clients, and stakeholders. A campaign launch depends on assets from design, approvals from legal, data from analytics, sign-off from leadership. Miss one link in the chain, and the entire timeline collapses.

Yet marketers often occupy a peculiar position in organisational hierarchies. Perceived by some as “the creative people” rather than strategic operators, their urgent requests can be treated as less critical than they actually are. The result: endless kind reminders sent upward into silence, while the marketer’s own deadlines march inexorably forward.

This isn’t unique to marketing. It happens to project managers waiting on executive input. To junior analysts needing senior review. To anyone whose work depends on someone who considers themselves too important – or too busy – to respond promptly.

Emily Post, the legendary arbiter of American etiquette, wrote that “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.” The person who ignores your deadline-driven email while expecting you to accommodate their every request has revealed something about their awareness. And it isn’t flattering.

“Let Me Check” Paradox

There’s a peculiar phenomenon in modern workplace communication: the acknowledgement that actually increases the probability of being ignored.

“Let me check” signals that your message was seen. It creates a social contract: I acknowledge your request, and I will investigate. But then… nothing. Days pass. The sender, having seen the acknowledgement, assumes work is in progress. They hold back their reminder, not wanting to seem pushy. Meanwhile, the responder has moved on to other tasks, the mental note dissolving into the stream of competing priorities.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: sometimes no response is better than a hollow acknowledgement. An unread message stays on the sender’s mental to-do list as “needs follow-up.” A “let me check” response files it away as “in progress” – even when it isn’t.

If you cannot commit to completing a task, consider whether acknowledging it creates false expectations. Better to respond once, properly, than to create the illusion of progress.

Timezone Confusion

In globally distributed teams – now the norm rather than the exception – messages arrive at all hours. A colleague in Singapore sends a request at their 9 am. It arrives in London at 1 am. The London recipient wakes to the notification and responds: “I’ll look at this when I’m properly at work.”

This response adds nothing. Of cours,e you’ll look at it when you’re at work. The sender didn’t expect you to leap from bed at midnight. Stating the obvious isn’t communication; it’s noise that clutters both inboxes without advancing the task.

Asynchronous communication – the primary mode of cross-timezone collaboration – works best when responses contain substance, not schedule announcements. When you do engage with the request, engage fully. If you need information before you can proceed, ask for it. If you can complete the task, complete it. The “I saw this” response serves neither party.

Good Etiquette Is Invisible

There’s a principle in etiquette that the best manners go unnoticed. Nobody remarks on a perfectly set table, only on a fork in the wrong place. Nobody comments when meetings start on time, only when they don’t. The same applies to professional communication: when it works well, it’s invisible. When it fails, it becomes everyone’s problem.

Will Cuppy, the American humorist, put it well: “Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.” The baseline – responding to time-sensitive requests, honouring commitments, not forcing colleagues to send multiple reminders – isn’t exceptional behaviour. It’s the minimum. Those who consistently fall below it are not merely busy or overwhelmed; they’re communicating something about their priorities and their respect for others’ time.

And here’s the thing about reputations built on responsiveness (or the lack of it): they travel. The colleague who ignores your third reminder will discover, eventually, that professional networks have long memories. Today’s ignored junior marketer is tomorrow’s CMO deciding which agencies make the pitch list.

What To Do After the Third Reminder

Let’s be practical. You’ve sent a request. You’ve followed up once, twice, three times. Each message more desperate than the last, padding “kind reminder” with additional kindnesses to soften the implied accusation: “Just wanted to gently circle back…” “Apologies for the follow-up, but…” “I know you’re incredibly busy…”

At some point, the kindness becomes corrosive – to your own dignity and to the likelihood of getting a response. Here are escalation strategies that actually work:

• Make the consequence explicit. “Without approval by Friday, we’ll miss the campaign launch date.” This isn’t a threat; it’s information. People respond differently when they understand the stakes.

• Change the channel. Three unanswered emails suggest the email isn’t working. A phone call, a Slack message, a walk to their desk – all break the pattern of being filtered out.

• Escalate strategically. CC someone whose attention the non-responder values. This isn’t going over their head; it’s ensuring business-critical information reaches decision-makers.

• Offer a default. “If I don’t hear back by Thursday, I’ll proceed with Option A.” This puts the onus on them to object rather than on you to chase approval.

• Document the gap. Keep records. When the project goes sideways, having a clear trail of requests sent and ignored protects you from becoming the scapegoat.

And if all else fails? Sometimes, the only professional response to persistent unprofessionalism is to name it. “I’ve sent three requests over two weeks without a response. I need to understand whether this task is a priority so I can plan accordingly.” Direct? Yes. Rude? No. It’s simply treating them like an adult capable of managing their commitments – or explaining why they can’t.

Broader Point

Professional communication is a form of respect made visible. Every ignored message, every “let me check” that leads nowhere, every assumption that your time matters less than theirs – these are not neutral acts. They’re choices that compound over time into workplace cultures where accountability is optional, and those with less power absorb the friction of those with more.

Marketing depends on collaboration. Campaigns require coordination across disciplines, departments, and external partners. The quality of communication directly determines the quality of outcomes – and the sanity of the people producing them.

If you find yourself drowning in kind reminders – sending or receiving – consider it a diagnostic. Something in the communication system is broken. Perhaps it’s unclear ownership. Perhaps it’s misaligned priorities. Perhaps it’s simply someone who hasn’t yet learned that ignoring colleagues isn’t a time management strategy; it’s a reputation-building strategy in the wrong direction.

Communication breakdowns are rarely about email etiquette alone. They’re symptoms of deeper issues in workflow, culture, and expectations. Marketing Audit can identify where your processes create friction – and where clearer systems might replace endless reminders with actual results.